ambers_legacy

The Aoki Legacy: Gen 1.1

2009-08-12T20:05:20Z

Previously on The Aoki Legacy: Our protagonist Satsu moved to the states to pursue her dream of becoming a forensic scientist, and managed to land a job at the Police Department. She got moved into her crappy house and settled in.

Lonely chess is lonely.

Maybe if I butter up the pizza girl, I'll get som free slices out of it with my broke ass.

FIRST GHOST SIGHTING!!

White ghost: I hate that dead bitch..
Orange: Well you stank like the grave

Ghost butt...

It occured to me that the graphics looked whack, so I turned everything up. Before...

AFTER!

No real point to these, just checkin out the pretty pretty graphics

what in the eff is THAT?

Satsu: Guess Ill just head down to the cemetary in the middle of the night... not weird at all.

Satsu: Maybe I will call ~~ghostbusters~~ ~~my only friend in the world~~ the pizza gal Autumn.

Satsu: Well hello there invisible friend, I hear you like the color blue.

THERE YOU ARE, eh kinda liked you better invisible...

Satsu: ENJOYING THE VIEW MULLET GUY?! rude....

So since playing Satsu, it has become clear to me that she is a lesbian. Her interactions with men are just... unsuccessful and she just strikes me a girl who likes to gay it up. For this reason and for the reason that I like pizza, I want her to hook up with this chick.

So, how YOU doin? Would you like to go out sometime for coffee, kisses and gay love?

Autumn: *LUNGES TOWARD HER*
Satsu: Well... that was easy..

Satsu: You wanna go steady? I'll let you wear my class ring and everything.

Autumn: OMG this dude is watching us...

Artsy Fartsy picture.

Satsu: Got her back to the crib, what do I do now? Maybe we should take this partayyy to the bedroom?

Satsu: *sings* Gonna get someeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Satsu: How you just gonna fall asleep before I get back? WAKE UP I WANT WOO HOO! I dont care if youre still kinda asleep.

Autumn: Uh how bout no?
Satsu: ....
Autumn: We can cuddle though!
Satsu: .........

and so begins a lifetime of rejection.

Satsu: Whatever Im gettin SOMETHING out of this..

Maybe she came on too strong...

Time for another round of I NEED TO MAKE A BABY! Its hard for a gay girl out there to find a decent sperm donor to continue her legacy. As you will see, its harder than you think.

This guy looks pretty shifty...

but oh look nummy foods!

Satsu: So creepy guy, there's no way you're married right?

Shifty Guy AKA cyc0n3 sw0rd: I really want nothing to do with you.

Satsu: FINE! YOU DONT KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME! IM TRYING TO FIND SOME SPERM PAL, I REALLY DONT NEED YOU AND YOUR TRENCH COAT ANYFUCKING WAY!

Satsu: ALSO YOU SMELL LIKE A LLAMA.

Satsu: Dont mind me, Ill just leave you alone now....

Satsu: BUT NOT BEFORE I SLAP YOU AND CALL YOU AN APE! TAKE THAT!

Satsu: Thats why I beat that ass, bitch.

Satsu: Guess Ill catch up on my reading before bed. Willing sperm donors and the women who need them... Sounds promising.

Stay Tuned for the next chapter!

Previously on The Aoki Legacy

Generation 1:
1.0

The Aoki Legacy Gen 1.0, A Sims 3 Legacy

2009-06-03T20:30:18Z

Hi! Welcome to my first Sims 3 Legacy, The Lehanes will obviously be on the back burner while I play with my new toy but I haven't forgotten them. Check out the two new updates on them below.

Meet my new founder, Satsu Aoki. Originally born and raised in Osaka, Japan, she's setting out on her own as a young adult for the United States to see what the world has to offer. The only trouble is that she has no friends, family, and very little money here. She has many good traits to offer the town of Sunset Valley including her good sense of humor, hopeless romanticism, being a perfectionist, computer whiz, and a certified genius! All of these characteristics have lead her to seek out her life's ambition, to become a forensic scientist for the police force. So, we begin her story...

This is Satsu Aoki, she has a quirky sense of fashion and logic rules her world. Her interests include computers, and chess. And her favorites are Sushi, the color red, and Electronica music.

This is her very humble house that she built herself on a plot of land.

Within seconds of arriving, her first visitor shows up, a chubby little paperboy!

Her good sense of humor and playful nature lead to goofy faces right away.

Paperboy: Let's watch some tv!
Satsu: I think I'm just gonna be creepy and watch you instead *leers*

I think she put him in a trance or something.

Satsu: I'm bored with this, let's go harrass the neighborhood.

Satsu: Well hello there pregnant neighboroonie, can I eat your baby?

Satsu: Your fashion choices are hurting my brain. Also you are boring as all hell. I'm out.

Satsu: Hi there, prospective mate and/or friend.
Autumn: Hi I deliver pizza, if we hooked up you'd be in pepperoni meat heaven!
Satsu: That's what she said.

Satsu: Soooo, are you single?
Autumn: Why yes, yes I am.
Satsu: Orly?

Autumn: Blah Blah Blah
Satsu: Sorry, what?

Then this guy approached and stood really close and posed.
Random Guy: Wanna love me?
Satsu: No thanks, I'm good.

How YOU doin?

This Larry the Cable Guy dude interrupted her playing chess which is all she thought about all day, just so he could stare at her boobs.

So she called him white trash.

Nom Nom Nom

Satsu: Yes I AM aware I am made of awesome. Thank you for noticing.

Here is a look at the unblur nudity patch for you guys. No nipples (yet) hahahha.

Home again. What a tiring first day.

But not too tiring for some middle of the night fishing (she caught some minnows WOO!)

Satsu: First time cooking in my new kitchen, I'm thinkin.... WAFFLES!

I'm thinking cooking failure on the first try. Don't react or anything.

That's more like it.

At least she stopped to get dressed. Modesty. She has it.

Firewoman: I hate you
Satsu: I don't like you either.

Satsu: Burn my kitchen down the first day, AND it made me late for my first day of work at the police station. ugh.

Satsu: Too tired for blankets. being a snitch is hard work.

Stay Tuned for the next chapter!

Previously on The Aoki Legacy

Generation 1:
None yet!

The Lehane Legacy Part 3.5

2009-06-03T07:38:37Z

Excitement is afoot in the Lehane household!

Venus is back!! Thanks adoption service!

Venus: You were expecting someone else?

It's pretty hard for Madi to hook up with glitter masked Oberon when this chick is a total bitch.

Venus: So what's been going on while I, the obvious favorite have been missing *brushes off shoulder*

Madi: Bullshit! I'm still the favorite! RIGHT!?
Me: Uhhhhh.....

Trent: COUGHCOUGHCOUGH!
Venus:... are you gonna die?

Connor: OH MY GOD VENUS YOU'RE BACK!!
Venus: Whoa dude, do not want!
Madi: Pwnd.

more cooking fail.

*cue sexy music*

Madi: FINALLY we get to spend some sexy hot tub time together!
Curtis: Ohhhhhh no ya don't!
Oberon: I feel like I have a ghost coming out of my ass? Is it just me?

Madi continues on her quest to have a baby before she's too old.
Madi: Makeout sesh?

Madi: SCORE! Wanna move in with me, I'm not gettin any younger. You can bring this person in question... I'm guessing your daughter?

Madi: Wow, I wish I would have known that ahead of time.... Also. The mystery female is his WIFE. Ultimate failure.

Wife whose name I don't care enough to remember: I hate you
Madi: I'm gonna go nail your husband now. In the meantime, you can have a makeover because you look dumb as hell.

Madi: I need a baby. I want it to have your pointy ears. Let's do the damn thing.

Wife: You, YOU BASTARD!

Madi: Even though you look way better now, you can still gtfo my house.

Madi: Nobody wanted that stank biatch around anyway.

Madi: COULD IT BE??

Oberon: So, I have 2 women, would you like to be the third amigo?
Neighbor: Who talks like that?
Oberon: I think I'm clever.
Neighbor: Even without the mask and new hair, you are ultra gay.

Connor: Didn't we used to be the same age?
Trent: I'm from the future...

Trent: Hey man where have you been?
Oberon: Knocking up your sister.
Trent: Cool, let's play a game.

The king lives.

Trent moved out because he was boring and I hated his nose, Connor went with him because I didn't feel like doing his homework. Bye again Connor with your great hair!

Venus: I am the favorite...
Me: I know.

Madi: Wait this isn't the audition for the sexy spaghetti commercial? I am SO hungry.

Madi: Guess I'll carry my food all the way in here and then lay down and die of starvation next to it.
Oberon: OMG NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! Then what will my hetero cover story be?????

Venus: Mmmmm spaghetti *steps over Madison*

Oberon: HA! TAKE THAT DEATH!

Death: Can't we just let her hang around for a while? It's do funny.
Madi: .......

Madi: I knew you were good for something.

Does not want.

It's okay Oberon, everyone gets scared of bowls sometimes.

She is full of win.

Madi: BABY!!???

Venus: OOH BABY BUMP!
Madi: WTF don't touch me!

Madi: I guess the classy thing would be to get married...
Oberon: OH MY GOD I ALREADY HAVE THE DRESS PICKED OUT!!!! For you... I mean....
Madi: Are you sure you like girls?

Pregnancy fun

continued cooking failure. this girl can't make anything.

Venus: I GOT AN A!!!
Madi: Woopty doo.

Madi: I guess we should hurry and get married before I have the baby.

Too late.

Previously on The Lehane Legacy

Generation 1:
1.0 * 1.1

Generation 2:
2.0 * 2.1 * 2.2

Generation 3:
3.0 * 3.1 * 3.2 * 3.3 * 3.4

The Lehane Legacy Part 3.4

2009-06-03T06:52:53Z

Sorry for the long time between updates, after the family fell apart it sorta broke my spirit on this family :/

*sighs* first day waking up in a quiet, empty house.

Trent came back to help out, now it's just the two of them

At least something good happened....

Madi has the idea of calling the adoption agency to try to get Connor and Venus back, Trent has the idea to hit on the neighbor.

Trent: So, my parents just died.... pity sex?

In her drunken grief, Madi goes to town in her nightgown where she meets....

this guy... who thinks everything she says is hilarious.. it's really wierd. so she runs back home to discover... drum rolllll...

CONNOR IS BACK!!

Madi: So, this is kinda awkward... something really bad happened after you left... aw geez.

Trent: Our parents died horribly.
Madi: Well that wasn't very subtle..

Madison is still taking things really hard, so she grows up and begins dressing like a hooker.

Which doesn't stop her from cleaning the shower. I swear that thing gets cleaned 5 times a day by these people.

cooking are srs bsns. i are srs sim.

fail.

Everyone in the house came down with this nasty monster cough, Connor decides that instead of resting like I told him to he wants to jump on the bed.

Madison: LOL a job, I've never had one of those!

Oberon: Hi there I'm another glittery mask guy from down the road. I look really gay but I'm actually not.
Connor: Yeah, I'm real sure, guy.
Oberon: No, really.

Madison: Oh hi, I know I don't know you but I'm getting old and need to have a baby. Would you like to impregnate me?
Oberon: SURE! (maybe then my parents will believe I am straight)

Pheobe sighting!

Connor walked right through her and didn't even notice...

Madison: I can't sleep.... guess I'll make the bed and get drunk.. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo!

Madi: HEY!! I gotta pee!
Me: That's what you get for being a drunk.

And again, he walks through ghosts with no regard for them whatsoever.
Juliet: Oh your time is coming, child.

Connor: Man, what was up with that wierd ass guy today?

Juliet: TAKE THAT FEARLESS BRAT!! Not so tough now are ya?

Next Time on the Lehane Legacy, The twins continue to try and rebuild their family.

Previously on The Lehane Legacy

Generation 1:
1.0 * 1.1

Generation 2:
2.0 * 2.1 * 2.2

Generation 3:
3.0 * 3.1 * 3.2 * 3.3

The Lehane Legacy Part 3.3

2008-10-04T06:31:40Z

In the spirit of the upcoming holday season, the Lehane's had a bit of festivity of their own.

Madi observes the decorations, could it be Halloween already?

Pheobe: Oh Venus, you are the cutest Strawberry Shortcake there ever was. And I am... some kind of... broadway alien stripper thing?

After refusing to do his homework pretty much forever, Connor's stubborn attitude finally catches up with him.

Later bus driver, this is probably the last time you'll be seeing me.

Sure enough, the social worker arrived moments after Connor came home. Ruining our Halloween.

Social Worker: Wtf is she supposed to be anyway?

Niles is oblivious/Donnie Darko/in need of new graphics card.

Bye Connor :(

Pheobe: My baby... he's go.. go... GONEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Madi: Bummer jams. Well check it out, I'm wearing a Sunnydale High School cheerleading outfit. I'm Buffy, get it?

Madi: Ugh fine... hugs maybe?

Niles comforts Pheobe by trying to knock her up. In related news, Venus is a pervert.

You. Slut.

It wouldn't be Halloween without Juliet.. straddling her tombstone.

It's a Halloween birthday for our favorite E.T.
Pheobe: This is so boring. I'd rather be boning.

eh. we'll see.

Happy Halloween from the Lehane clan minus one Connor.

Things are back to normal for a bit around the house. Venus reads up on the comings and goings of alien celebs, Madison drowns her sorrows, and drunkenly seduces women.

Preggers?

Venus' first day of school. She didn't learn how not to become a trash can.

Before you know it, it's Christmas!

Niles: Aw look at this nice reindeer... FAIL.

way to go Niles. we already know you attract death everywhere you go.

Pheobe: *GASP! I'm PREGNANT. I can't WAIT TO TELL NILES!!! *runs*

Pheobe: OMG WTF IS THIS FIRE DOING HERE???????
Niles: NOOOOooooo
Random Smelly Neighbor: Aw dude. Bummer.

Could these holidays get any worse? I mean, really. What the shit?

why yes... yes they can.

Grandpa Curtis makes an appearance, causing Madison to question her reflection.

Madison: I'm sorry our family keeps dying/getting taken away. Here is a bear.
Venus: Not impressed.

Venus: OMG IT'S SANTA!!! no.. wait... who are you?
Faceless guy: I'm Santa. Can't you tell by my picture in the corner?
Venus: Santa has a face... and he doesn't wear a business suit.
Faceless Santa: Well, I don't know what to tell ya kid. take it or leave it.

seriously. I have no idea what caused Santa to be wonky.

Well, that's just insult to injury.

Venus: How could I have been born into the most has fail family of all time.

Dude, just go to bed, it can't get any worse. (she gets woken up by Juliet moments later, so yes. it can)

Niles: Merry Christmas... guess I'll clean up my wife *sob*

And then there were three.

It wouldn't be a day in the Lehane house if Niles didn't get electrocuted. But, he made it. thankfully, since he's the only parent left, and I really don't know if my household can take anymore.

Pheobe makes her first appearance (on her first night?? weird). And I assume puts a voodoo death curse on Niles.

Niles displays the most fail-death I have ever seen in the Sims. He starves while waiting for the groceries to arrive. I am serious.
Niles: So... cold....

Madi: OMG PLEASE DON'T KILL MY DAD! My mom literally JUST DIED like 5 minutes ago, Santa has no face, everything is on fire, my sister is about to kill herself. Throw me a bone here
Grocer: Well... here's your food *puts by Niles*

thanks a lot, bitch. that's extremely helpful.

Madi loses to the Grim Reaper. NoooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

(p.s. by this point in the game, I'm pretty much on the verge of tears)

Madison: What am I gonna do? No parents, brother gone, kid sister... ooh a poptart.

When in need, dance with Social Bunny. think about the dire situation tomorrow.

Social Bunny: I think I killed her *looks around and flees*

Meanwhile, at college...
Trent: Hello?
Madison: You have to come home. Everything is a mess. I need your help.

I love the twins so very much.

Trent: Why god, why?

Madison turns to the drink. Again. I think she has a serious problem.

In summary. My family has fallen apart and rest in the hands of the twins. Stay tuned.

Previously on The Lehane Legacy

Generation 1:
1.0 * 1.1

Generation 2:
2.0 * 2.1 * 2.2

Generation 3:
3.0 * 3.1 * 3.2

The Lehane Legacy Part 3.2

2008-10-04T06:30:52Z

Niles quickly realizes upon returning from his alien encounter that there is something not right. COULD IT BE??

Yes, he is PREGNANT.

This leaves him in a state of confusion, disarray... and fail. He celebrates by peeing himsefla dn then passing out in it.

The failure is of some an epic proportion that he immediately goes into aspiration failure.

Meanwhile, Madi is having luck with the ladies, with this girl whose name still escapes me. Either way, she gives Madison her first kiss.

Madison: Score, bitches.

Madison: Tra la laaaaaa, check out my pixelated slutty boob outfit. (note to self, need graphic card update.)

Madison: Wanna be my girlfriend?
Random: Uh no thanks, making out is so much hotter without commitment.
Madison: YOU... YOU TEASE!!!!!! I was willing to overlook your webbed hands!

This turn of events is so distressing that yes.... BUBBLE HANDS RETURN. DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNN.

Only in this household would someone throw up and then immediately clean the toilet after.

Niles: Hey, remember me? We went to college together. Why don't you ever talk to me unless you want babies anymore?
Pheobe: Motherfucker, don't touch me.

This douchebag showed up again to further prove he sucks at everything.

BABY TIME!!!!!

It's a girl, Venus. Move over Madi, there is a new love of my life. Sorry bout your luck.

Madi brings home Amanda from school even though Amanda is supposed to be in college.... they have a creepy familial hot tub session.
Amanda: It's cool... I'm adopted.

Amanda: I'z in your kitchen. Holdin your babies.

Trent: I'm leaving for college and no one even noticed *emo cry*

to be fair, Madi noticed, she was just late and waved to the spot he used to be in.

DO NOT WANT.

Happy birthday Venus, time to see if you're pretty or not.

Excitement: You're at about a ten. We need you at a seven.

Great news, she has Gigi's hair! Bad news.. her eyes are freaking me out.

Venus: I'm old enough for up-skirt shots now right? right?

Niles: This is the non poopinest baby I have ever tried to potty train.

Niles: Plz to b halping me, Wilson.

Venus plays with her alien head...

and has strangely mature wants....

Lady. You are never gettin this floor clean.

Niles: Why the hell does this nanny hate me so much??? What did I ever do to you?? You wanna try some shit?

Boredom leads to pranks.

A shot of the house. Can you spot the upcoming event hint?

boring update. but you are not prepared for what happens next. I sure wasn't.

Previously on The Lehane Legacy

Generation 1:
1.0 * 1.1

Generation 2:
2.0 * 2.1 * 2.2

Generation 3:
3.0 * 3.1

The Lehane Legacy Part 3.1

2008-06-05T07:14:06Z

The house is filled with overwhelming talk of death. Mostly from the morbid twins... who continue to do the same thing at the same time in different parts of the house. Creepy.

Everyone deals in their own way. Niles and Pheobe make with the sexy time.

Curtis is just too sad. He's so lonely :(

seriously guy. you are bumming me out. moving on.

Twin~~cest~~ hugs continue to keep the cute factor up...

Only to be shattered moments later by what I'm convinced is the funniest face I've ever seen.

FIRE FAIL.

Don't be lonely Curtis. Atleast the fireman still wants to make out with you. Even after he saw the ridiculous face you just made.

Holy shit, sex can cause babies? WHO KNEW?

Madison picspam. She is the one and only person in the house who goes out on to this balcony. She hangs out there constantly. Bit of a loner she is. I am obsessed with her. I think she's the future of this family... foorrrreshaddowingggg.

Random Trent/Madison spam. I heart the twins, what can I say? They don't bug me near as much as ~~Harry Potter~~ Niles did as a child.

Niles: Hey Amanda, can I borrow my wife?
Amanda/Pheobe: Fuck off Plz.

Nevermind the brand new giant pool behind us. WHAT IS UP WITH THIS NEW CHAIR ZOMG!??

Pheobe doesn't approve of the chair. I'm sure she'll decide to love it in 5 minutes anyway.

Pheobe: See Madison, this is how mommy makes the family money.
Madison: .....

*LAUGHS MANIACALLY*

And now we bring you the Odd Couple, Starring Curtis Lehane and Pheobe Traver.

Curtis: If you're gonna pee, pee in this!
Pheobe: *wets self*
Curtis: Smooth move, ass.

FAIL

Curtis: Oh, you were doing push-ups? Well tough shit *turns off tv*

First Gigi sighting

Gigi: BOOGEDAH BOOGEDAH!!!!!
Niles: ........

*feigns terror for her benefit*

what a good son.

Amanda gets caught ~~whoring and drinking around the community lots~~ sneaking out.

Pheobe is a good sister in law and talks to the cops. Curtis has a bad heart ya know? He can't handle that type of information at this late date in life.

Gigi: WTF are you doing here? Isn't this MY haunting night?
Juliette: I hate blondes.
Gigi: Thanks for the update, Soggy Britches.

AHHH EEEEE AHHHH OHHHHHHHH (think Pee Wee Herman in the Buffy movie)

Oh look. It's another baby. Welcome Connor!

Curtis: It's another white baby.
Amanda: I can see that.
Social Bunny: I wanna show Amanda my white babies.

So I didn't catch it and I was SO MAD. Juliette finally got back at Gigi for drowning her... by killing her husband. *CUE DRAMATIC MUSIC*

She scared him in the kitchen, and he dropped dead. Just like that.
Oh, and he peed himself as he died. It wasn't a very respectable death. He was in peak aspiration. I'll give him that. AW CURTIS. I love you now that you don't have a creepy nose. And are dead.

whomp whomp.

Niles realizes the important things. Like continuing to live. and that includes pausing mourning your father's death to whistle at your wife as she walks by. Stay Classy, Lehanes.

Speaking of living, it's Connor's birthday! He's a cutie.

I had to send Amanda to college. I didn't want to but her grades were slipping and with all the kids getting older, I needed to make time for them.

This time, he was actually scared.

kids spam. oh and Connor had a birthday in there somewhere.

The twins have a fairly uneventful birthday.
Madison: ZOMFG I HAVE BOOBIES!!
Trent: Hi there, I'm Trent. (dumbass)
Pheobe: CHECK OUT MY RIPPED BICEPS!

do not want.

The twins try on teenage hormones for size. Trent's goes well. Madi's? Not so much.

also I forgot to fix the graphics and she has webbed hands. lovely.

Madison: HUG MEEEE!!
Whatsername: I DON'T HUG WEBBED HANDED FREAKS!

Madison: DAMMIT! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE A FREAK/ANGER JUNKIE???!!
*sprouts bubble hands*
Madison: well that's just perfect.

oh my. prepare to be probed my friend.

Madison: Oh Bunny. I love you. Please eat my face off.

Madison: Why would you kiss me like that???? Don't you know women are full of mixed signals! ASSHOLE!

*sigh*

Madison: I'm sorry Bunny. It's not you.... I was rejected by some douchebag in a glittery mask and cowboy shirt today.

He accepts her apology. By standing in front of her while she pees. Thinking about how much he hates her.

Madison: RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! RANDOM FITS OF RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGEEE!

Madison: What's up girl whose name escapes me at this time?
Whatserface: You wanna do WHAT NOW?

Madison: No, it feels good I promise.
Whatserface: Well, okay then.
Madison: Score.

Whatserface: *stands in spooky lighting* I'll kill you, you know.
Madison: Plus

Even as the family wonders what's happened to Niles, life goes on. Such as video games and physical altercations with the neighbors

We end this episode with NIles' return from the mysterious galaxy of Volcom.

Previously on The Lehane Legacy

Generation 1:
1.0 * 1.1

Generation 2:
2.0 * 2.1 * 2.2

Generation 3:
3.0

The Lehane Legacy Part 3.0

2008-04-02T04:12:26Z

It's a girl! Welcome Madison! Little do you know what's in store for you.

9 Neat (of course)
9 Outgoing
8 Active
8 Playful
? Nice

Oh wait... and a boy! Welcome Trent :)

9 Neat
2 Shy
10 Active
6 Playful
6 Nice

Pheobe: So... very... tired. Damn twins.
Maid: Uh, there's a woman on the ground.
Gigi: Nevermind that, there's a baby on the ground.
Niles: ............

Such joy filled the household with the birth of the babies....

But not for long. Mere hours later, Niles attempted to do something as simple as fixing the microwave. It had been on the fritz for days. His bad luck strikes again, and he is electrocuted.

At first, I was relieved when it seemed he had just sizzled himself, but would be okay.

Until this happened.

Luckily Curtis was on hand to save the day, and Gigi stood there with an even more blank expression than usual.

That's saved from death TWICE, Niles. Be more careful.

In keeping with quaint family tradition, Curtis celebrates by scrubbing the stove.

Pheobe: So, I hear you died again. I suddenly find you dangerous and attractive.
Niles: Pffft, I got nine lives. I don't need your petty affections. Who is physically distant now? pwned.

Amanda and Curtis choose to make the maid's life hell. Him, by doing her job, Amanda by making her job worse. As you can see by her huge boobs, she's very dismayed.

Niles = Best family member ever. Perseus asked every other member of the house for homework help and was blown off by every one of them.

Full grown man sleeping with your elderly dad... not wierd at all.

Gigi has taken peeing herself to a whole new level. Now she chooses to pee her pants standing right in front of the toilet.

Amanda and Perseus grew up! Amanda looks hot, and keeps her awesome hairdo, and Perseus on the other hand... looks like a car salesman with a jew fro.

Now it's the twins turn.

Madison grew up into what appeared to be a little boy. Terrible hair. Really.
Madison: Daddy, please stop drinking and love me.

Family photo left to right: Perseus, Trent, Curtis, Amanda, Niles, Pheobe, Madison, & Genevieve.

After recieving a hair makeover, Madison is much nice to look at.

But her new picture leads me to wonder if she picked up some crack on her way to the makeover.

Ah twins. Sweet, smelly, screaming, twins.

More twin action.

Still excited to be a grandfather, Curtis?

Parenting are hard.

Amanda: Check out my new and improved hooker makeup.

Madison: I rule the world through my cute.

Pheobe: I've decided that several times a day I will walk over here and turn this stereo on. No dancing. Just standing.

I will then turn it back off. Mission accomplished.

New Mom hair.

I randomly notice that my founder is coming to the end of her days. Noooooooo!

Madi picks a winner.

Gigi: Sure would like a grandchild.
Me: What part of, you have TWO do you not understand?

Flashback to here.

Gigi: There's some stuff in the sky...
Curtis: Is it nap time yet?

Perseus: WOO! I got a good report card!

Too bad his dad is senile.

Curtis: Excellent job, locker shaped son!

I notice Curtis is afraid of emailing someone. Something I'm pretty sure all old people are afraid of.

Family makeover.

Niles: Hey Amanda, I know I've said about three words to you in our entire lives, but check out my totally creepy arm skills.

Amanda: Aw, that's awesome! Give me a huge, big brother!
Niles: NO, NO, still a germophobe. No hugs will be given or recieved. *hyperventilates*

Why yes. You are a milf.

I didn't know it was possible, but I think Curtis might actually love the twins more than his own kids. Mr. Mom back in action.

Perseus is boring, and I forget he's there half the time, so he gets to go to college. Maybe the reason he looks so nervous is that he is a dork who will undoubtedly get picked on.

Pheobe: The only time I could ever possibly work on this tv, or do this heavy lifting is in my panties.

I guess that's what Sim God thinks of vanity.

Thankfully, she's okay, although she seems to have turned into a white lady wearing a dark turtleneck. Interesting turn of events.

Madi: Weee! I'm glad you aren't dead, mommmy!

This really creepy neighbor showed up just in time to run in on Madison growing up. He looks like Mike Tyson.

She's a cutie. A little plain. But cute.

Trent also grows up nicely. He is really working his James Marsters like cheekbones.

Trent: Happy birthday to us!!
Madison: *pees*

ZOMG ZE TWINCEST!!

Amanda does not approve of cake. She took one look at it, and gave me this. That has to be the frowniest frown of all time.

In all of this excitement, no one seems to notice that Gigi is at death's doorstep.

She gets up long enough to do some age inappropriate heavy lifting.

Amanda: My life is made of constant win.

DO NOT WANT.

Gigi: So I'm wicked old you know. I'm moments from dying.
Curtis: Is this syrup maple?

Sure enough, that last walk up the stairs was just too much for her.

It's okay though, she's being whisked away to a lovely afterlife paradise!

You will be missed.

moments later....

YOU. BITCH.

Niles: Oh, mom, why? I miss you already... I always.. wait... who the hell is this guy?
Neighbor: WHYYYY!?? WHY GOD WHYYYYY!!???

Niles: Dude, who are you, you didn't even know my mom.
Neighbor: Your daughter is a bitch.

Niles: You come in my house, creepily watch my kid, cry over my mother's grave whom you didn't even know, talk shit about my kid, and now you shove me. Oh hell naw. You can GTFO.

Neighbor: I'll be back for you... I'll be back.
Niles: ...........

The family is taking it pretty hard. She was close to everyone, even the kids she treated like they didn't exist still loved her. Her two favorites, Amanda, and Trent are tkaing it especially hard.

And Curtis. Poor Curtis. He does this a lot.

Things start to look up when the kids run out and start a pillow fight on her grave. It's just what she would have wanted anway...

Stay tuned!

Previously on The Lehane Legacy

Generation 1:
1.0 * 1.1

Generation 2:
2.0 * 2.1 * 2.2

The Lehane Legacy Part 2.2

2008-03-28T05:05:33Z

Niles: HEY! Remember me? From college? We were engaged! Crazy times...
Pheobe: Yeah, still don't wanna be hugged.

Pheobe: Okay, since I'm bi-polar, I suppose I can hug you now that you've asked me to move in. Just don't expect me to like you.

*vicious grin*
Welcome to the Legacy, devil woman.

Personality:
5 sloppy/neat
5 shy/outgoing
3 lazy/active
8 serious/playful
4 grouchy/nice

This is the face of a woman desperate for a makeover.

Meh. It's a start.
Pheobe: If I ignore him long enough he'll go away.
Niles: If I stand with my wang close to her face long enough, she's bound to notice.

I BUILT A PLAYROOM! It's pretty much my favorite room in the house, and aside from the kitchen, it's the family's favorite too. Here is Perseus doin his... flying bus car... thing.

Enough screwing around, let's.... screw around. Generation three, people. We aren't gettin any younger.

score.

Gigi: Hey there, we've only met once before, thanks for pukin all over my toilet right before I use it.
Pheobe: Hi, I'm the pregnant chick that now lives here. Your son is quite the stallion.

This trend of lawn sleeping failure will only continue. I assure you. Wow, someone hasn't been doing their homework. Probably Perseus. He kind of sucks. Amanda on the other hand continues to be made of win.

Well, she's pregnant. May as well marry her. It's the classy thing to do. Surprisingly she seems happy about it.

Oh. Well. That's not very shocking. Crazy bitch.

Niles unsuccessfully tried to choke her with cake.

My wife despises me, and I can't even kill her properly. *emo tears*

In the age old, or more accurately, 2 generation old, tradition on the Lehane's, people are smelly, and also piss themselves. Nice wedding.

A couple days later... bump alert.

Pheobe: Ohhhh, I love you baby....

Pheobe: But not enough to stay sober. (seriously, she went straight for the champagne after bumping)

Niles: You're DRINKING??!
Pheobe: You're still wearing that tux? We got married like, 2 days ago, guy. Which in Sim time is like, a week. It's really not that serious. So, stfu, buzzkill.

Could be drunk. Could be tired. Mysteries are fun.

Okay. I don't know who this guy is. Niles doesn't either. He showed up. Crotch posed for a minute. And left. It was awesome. Niles is still wearing the tux. I think he has some issues.

Congratulations. You are the only kid I like. In other news, there appears to be a bug coming out of your hair, might wanna take care of that.

Woooo, cleaning party at the Lehane's! We know how to get down and get funky with our bad selves.

Gigi: I'm too lazy to just walk to the bathroom unless instructed. Therefore I pee myself all the time.

And then I cry about it for hours.

Things are becoming monotonous in the household. Hurry up and have this baby.

So, dad. When's the last time you nailed mom?

Niles: I'm not sure if I'm turned on more by the cleaning, her butt, or the fact that she's pregnant. Either way, I'm a strange perv.

More pregnancy eating and passing out.

FINALLY! LET'S HAVE A BABY!

~~Mr. Mom~~ Curtis: YESssssss! This undoubtedly will result in more messes to clean, and a baby to fawn over!

Up Next: Generation Three!

Previously on The Lehane Legacy

Generation 1:
1.0 * 1.1

Generation 2:
2.0 * 2.1

The Lehane Legacy Part 2.1

2008-03-16T23:41:12Z

At this point, the entire household has come down with the flu, because somehow, someway, Niles, and Curtis didn't spend every waking moment cleaning for once and roaches attacked!

Niles: Sumo Wrestling sucks ass.

Niles: But Peace is cool.

Wow. thanks Niles. Amazing observation skills there, guy.

Is it terrible that my favorite member of the family is adopted?

I think that they planned this. Seriously, it happens everyday.

Random family portrait. Even though Niles seems to be the one standing outside the group, it's actually little Perseus that will grow up to have no one really even notice he's there.

The good news is, that Amanda and Perseus both grew into pretty cute kids! She celebrates by being the outcast of the family, and making a mess. One which the rest of the house will undoubtedly tackle eachother to be the first to mop up.

The house is becoming more and more boring everyday. Things like pancake breakfasts are the highlight of the activities.

Niles takes this opportunity to move out before he becomes even more of a complete dork. Little does he know, his life is going to be chock full of nonstop nerdiness.

Boring.

BORINGGGG. Where is the action, the excitement? The college experience??

In other news, as you can see, Niles has grown into the giant nose that his father will undoubtedly curse all of the men with.

Enter entertainment.. This is Pheobe Traver. She's... odd. And also, bi-polar. She's got a love-hate relationship with life that can't be tamed. She seems to have taken to Niles though. Either that, or she's playing charades.

Some other people, not so nice. This is Brady. Since I hate someone named Brady in real life, I decide Niles hates this guy. He's an asswipe. His tattoos are lame, and his Hot Topic chain shorts make him look like an ass.

Niles: So uhhhh, this quality time is nice. Me over here, behind this desk... you over there... in front of it.

Niles: RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! I have pent up rage due to years of mommy issues and an obsessively spotless father!

Niles: She likes me, she likes meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Unfortunately. He was rejected. That. Bitch.

BUT never fear, she's completely nuts, and kissed him mere minutes later. But not soon enough to have ruined his very first attempt at kissing a girl. Thanks a lot.

Wouldn't you know, minutes later and it's not even okay to hug her anymore. Niles is left wondering where her medication was left.

Unable to bear living with this whackjob anymore, he decides to try and meet some girls. He calls up an all female Greek House, but upon seeing their cracked out running, screaming, and basic insanity, he decides to stick around at his current dorm.

Niles: I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!! WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? WHY ARE WOMEN SO CRAZY? WHY IS THIS FUNNY TO YOU?????

Nudity heals all wounds.

Cow: OMG GHOSTS ARE SO SPOOOOOOKY!
Niles: Yeah. Sure...
Cheerleader: You're in the way of my impending stomping of this cow.

Stomping commenced.

Niles needs a break. From the fighting. The lunatic girlfriend. The whole dorm. He opts to rush another Greek House. This time it's full of guys, just what he needs to toughen up.

Getting high doesn't hurt either.

Pheobe: Now that you moved away to get away from me, I've decided I love you.

Niles: I love you too, but WHY GOD WHYYYYYYYY??!!!

Niles: This woman will be the death of me.

Which is exactly why he must marry her, the sadist. The apparent eating contest next to them is the perfect romantic touch.

Pheobe: Oh my god, I totally love you for now!!!!!

That was quick.

But she is down with Woohoo anyway.

Pheobe: Must retreat before he wakes up and suspects I might actually like him.

Remember those manly, toughening up frat brothers? Yeah, not so much. They're all gay. All 4 of them. I mean, just look at them. Who wears a letterman's jacket in this day and age?

Kevin goes into Aspiration Failure after asking obvious bachelor Josh to marry him, and being rejected.

How does a toilet in which Niles Lehane lives become this filthy??? HOW I ASK YOU.

I mean, the guy cleans so much, he gets in the maid's way.

Kevin: OMG NOOOOOoooooo, I killed the heir!!!!!!!!!

Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Not in his senior year of college!!!!!!!!!

Please, please don't make me put another heir through college. The other son of this generation is a douchebag, and the daughter is adopted.

Kevin: YES, I WON!!! SUCK ON THAT, DEATH!
Ashley: Dude, you smell worse than death. wtf.
Me: Thank you Sim god for not making me produce another heir.

Aw, I'll hug you even though you stink to high heaven.

Niles: Nevermind the pile of ashes, and rubbish behind me. I'll celebrate life by scrubbing this filthy counter.

Sleep/Shower - You're doin it wrong.

This explains a lot.
Ashley: Getting robbed, lawllll.

OH MY GOD, SCANDAL!!!! Castor is engaged to Ashley, and Joshua to Kevin (yeah, he tried again)

Kevin: YOU BITCH!
Castro: Whatever, can't you tell by the way I wear sunglasses constantly that I'm too cool for this drama? My hand tastes good.

Kevin: HOW COULD YOU!?? AFTER I FORCED YOU TO GET ENGAGED TO ME AGAINST YOUR WILL. bastard.

Joshua: I don't need this shit, I have another boyfriend.... oh... whomp whomp. Worst day evar.

Joshua: How could you cheat on me with your boyfriend??????!!!!!!
Llama: Why the hell am I even in this gay soap opera?

Ashley: You're cheating on me with that... that JOCK? It's over!

Appreciation of art - You're doin it wrong.

Niles raced against the clock to finish his term paper a mere two hours before the final exam of his senior year.

Only to have it break when he was 98% done. shit.

He still graduated because he wins at studies.
Curtis: Oh, I love you sooooo much son!

Gigi: Meh, I guess you're okay.
Niles: Why won't you love me?

Gigi: Niles sucks.
Pheobe: I agree.
Niles: Are you guys talking about me?
Gigi/Pheobe: No

Pheobe: Just to prove it, I'll make out with you in front of your parents. Not wierd at all.

The day he's leaving, Niles finally delves into the college life with one of his brothers.

Niles: Dude, seriously, stop hitting on my mom.
Castor: I go both ways, you know.
Gigi: Plus

Previously on The Lehane Legacy

Generation 1:
1.0 * 1.1

Generation 2:
2.0

Lehane Legacy 2.0

2008-03-03T06:05:13Z

Previously on the Lehane Legacy, Gigi was about to have her first baby with mega cleaner bubble hands aka Curtis, and that's about it. She also had new hair.

I have good news and I have bad news, the bad news is, a lot of the pictures I had were lost due to my power going out at complete random while I had them all open and not yet saved in photoshop. The good news is, my heir was born, a second mostly ignored child was born, and a much more loved than the regular kids child was adopted. The other good news is that I managed to capture/salvage some good pics.

Welcome Niles Lehane-Ryan! Gigi is still rockin the Rhianna hair, but not for long.

Curtis is unimpressed, and prefers to make the bed. This leads me to believe he is going to suck as a parent. I later discover, he is Mr. Mom, and Gigi hates her kids for the most part.

The baby is just as unnerved by his bubble hands as everyone else. As you can see, from his terrified expression.

The new family tree!

Gigi is a full time Get Away Car driver. She will stay at this level in her career due to the overwhelming duties of ~~hating~~ taking care of her children..

Aforementioned Mr.Mom

So Curtis and the Nanny take every single opportunity possible to fight. It's all they do. They shove eachother and throw water balloons.

Curtis being the total womanly borderline gay man he is, decides to try to make up, by giving the Nanny a tip.

Nanny accepts graciously, before poking him. Making him cry. Like the little bitch that he is.

Gigi has gone back to her old hair, and it's time for Niles to grow up! WOO!!!

And as it turns out... he's Harry Potter... but somehow dorkier.

Niles: DAD!! DADDDD!! HELLOOOOO!!! Curtis is too busy thinking about the topic on The View that morning.

Sometime in there, Gigi got preggers again and had a baby. Seriously nothing thrilling.

She likes him okay. Even though he is just another crummy boy. His name is Perseus. We'll call him Percy for short. His dad obviously picked it out.

Percy is pretty frightened by the complete freaks that inhabit the house.

A little family photo.

FAIL

I love you Niles. Even though you look like a tool.

Niles, in an amazing feat of actually taking after his mother for the first time ever, chooses to pass out on the lawn like her. The incredibly hip place to sleep.

Gigi becomes an elder at complete random, which succeeds in only making her cheeks REALLY fat, and Niles becomes a teenager. The first thing that happens in his teen life is that he is pwnd by his mom in slap hands.

Percy becomes a toddler!! Niles and Curtis are on hand. Gigi is no doubt passed out somewhere... drunk perhaps?

I stand corrected. She was obviously collecting nuts to store in her cheeks. Niles... still a tool. But I love him. He's a great brother, and very tidy.

Like father.

Like OCD son. Between the two of them, they spend half the day just cleaning.

DAMN THIS PIANO!! IT'S SOMEHOW KEEPING ME FROM EATING, THE BASTARD!

This kid ruined my figure.

The boys follow Curtis nonstop. It doesn't matter what he is doing. They can sense the resent fumes pouring off of their mother.

Curtis adopts a baby without consulting with Gigi. She is a tan skinned girl with orange hair, and blue eyes. I'm sure no one will question her place in this family. Her name is Amanda, and thank god she's a girl. Heir or not, I couldn't take anymore boys.

She already is more hardcore than my other goody goody kids. They got all of their dad's genes, I'm convinced.

Percy and Amanda agree on one thing. Walls suck. For what reason, I'm not entirely sure.

Gigi finally decides to take interest in one of her children. The one that isn't technically hers.

Just like his dad :)

Amanda: OMG gag me with a spoon, our dad is so groady.

Previously on The Lehane Legacy

Generation 1:
1.0 * 1.1

Bubbbllleess! Lehane Legacy 1.1

2008-02-19T11:24:22Z

Previously on The Lehane Legacy, Genevieve "Gigi" Lehane moved into her very own house, where she met an obnoxious neighbor with a stupid shirt named Curtis. She blew him off and pursued a cute retail worker, only to be rejected by Redman, Rico, ah yes, Remington. What a silly name. She was fired from her job in the army, and was at the end of her wits when it all turned around. She decided to give Curtis a call on a whim, wackiness ensued, and here they are married, and pregnant! Gigi treated herself to a new hairdo in celebration, woot!

So since Gigi has become pregnant, she eats nothing but chef salads. Day and night. She gets up out of bed to eat them. She eats them when she's not hungry at all. And it's all she eats. Cravings... what can ya do?

Since she has maternity leave from work, she just doens't know what to do with herself. So, she uses the time to be emotional about EVERYTHING. She sees a stuffed bunny that Curtis picked up for the baby, and about bursts into tears.

She then decides to take 20 minutes obsessing over paint colors. The pink with bunnies? The pastel blue? The gender neutral white with cutesy border???? DECISIONS, DECISIONS.

Jeez, sometimes, Curtis is really creepy.

Other times I think he might be kind of gay.

And still other times, he gets a wild hair up his ass and scrubs down everything scrubbable in the house. Gigi used this as an excuse to fire the maid.

But not until after she stared at his ass for a little bit. What? There's nothing to do at home alone, pregnant besides watch stupid crap on tv.

And yet another hairdo. Very Rihanna. Very I'm wicked pregnant.

Gigi has a brief moment of sheer anxiety in which she fears she'll have her baby in her underwear in the bathroom. So not classy.

But as it turns out, she just wants a million more chef salads.

Shortly before Gigi actually DOES go into labor, Curtis develops this odd ability to have bubbles coming off of him at all times. This doesn't surprise anyone seeing as how he is clean like a freak. He meditates on this.

uh oh, THUNDERCATS ARE GO!

Curtis runs in to catch the arrival, freaky bubble hands in tow, just in time!

Stay tuned, next up, get to know the new addition Niles Lehane-Ryan! (He technically has the dad's last name, but the mother's lineage ya dig?)

Previously on The Lehane Legacy

Generation 1:
1.0

Just a small town girl... 1.0

2008-02-19T08:31:56Z

Hi there, my name is Amber, welcome to my first Legacy Challenge! What is a Legacy Challenge? Creating the best family you can over 10 generations on The Sims 2, no cheats, no reloads, no kidding. Anyone familiar with this challenge knows the rules, for those of you who don't, you can either read up on them here, or simply enjoy watching my family grow and be strange. My legacy won't always be rated PG, sometimes there will include cursing, violence, and since those things are made of win, get used to it.

ALSO. The pictures for this first section are terrible. I was using Snagit and it wasn't working out for me, and I forgot to take off the menu. Bah, you get the point. The pictures for the next section are a million times better ;)

This is our heroine, founder, and totally awesome chick, Genevieve Lehane. She's known better to her friends as "Gigi." She has a quirky fashion sense and prefers vintage clothing over the modern styles. She is a family aspiration Sim, and her stats are...

4 sloppy
4 shy
4 lazy
7 playful
6 nice

Faced with the problem of having very little money, Gigi moves into a shack, and allows herself the absolute bare essentials. She loves to read and write in her diary, so that keeps her plenty entertained. She gets a crap job for the army right away so atleast she can bring in some money soon.

Some locals show up right away to ~~make fun of her shitty house~~ greet her. One such neighbor is Curtis Ryan, he has a big nose, and a goofy open chested Fabio shirt. He also has no ass, which is a major turnoff.

Gigi, being the ultimate smartass, starts picking on him immediately. She pokes him, and teases him. He comes back at her with an insult, she CAN'T BELIEVE IT. No one ever stands up to her. The wierd guy in the background thinks love is in the air.

Dear diary, I live in a craphole with no stuff, and have no friends. Also, I'm wearing fatigues and am extremely smelly. LAME.

diary continued: My only friend is this bunny. I think the acid I took earlier finally kicked in. Either way, he makes me laugh, and we play together till I feel better.

Gigi assumes she and Bunny are BFF, and starts ranting about her ridiculous problems, she's very hormonal. He cares so little, he's stopped moving hoping she'll forget he's there.

The next day, Gigi makes the wrong call at work and is fired on the spot. Her morale is at an all time low. Will she ever find love? Will she ever get knocked up? Will she ever get out of those awful fatigues? Being the drama queen that she loved to be, she makes a scene in front of random neighbor #1, and the mail lady.

Her day finally picks up when she goes into town and meets a cute guy working at a boutique, his name is Remington and he has great hair. His co-worker seems pretty peeved that he's chatting it up with Gigi. Either that or she's pooping her pants. Remington finds everything Gigi says hilarious, and loves to gossip more than anything in the world. He even calls her after she gets home that same night.

Desperate for companionship, Gigi invites Remington over for 3 days in a row and tries her hardest to woo him. Despite the fact that he's kind of an asshole, and gets annoyed really easily. She's also devastated to discover that he's several inches shorter than her. She just can't get a break.

Realizing that she doesn't really like Remington in that way, and he has rebuffed all of her advances, she settles for best friends. He is a sweet guy, but too moody for her.

Shortly thereafter, there is a small fire in the kitchen, and again with the drama, she has to act like she's been blown back by it like Arnold Schwarzenegger or something. *shakes head*

Gigi: Funny hats are so money. (get it.. like Swingers? oh, nevermind)

Upon noticing how often she's been thinking of Curtis, she decides to give him another try. She invites him over several times before he's sick of being stalked and finally says yes. They promptly have a pillow fight. He's already more fun than that stick in the mud, Remington Steele or whatever the hell.

He accepts a back rub after a couple of attempted and shot down hug attempts.

One backrub and she's already thinking marriage. Jump the gun much?

.......................

Maybe she didn't jump the gun. Curtis shows up the next day, and greets her with a kiss. Their first kiss, awwwww.

She promptly skeezes it up and woo hoo's him. He actually spends the night, but she gets up shortly after woo hoo. She eats a pop tart, has a shower, and admires her new pink stove.

So the rest of the pictures for this were not taken because Snagit decided not to work, so the pictures of Curtis and Gigi's engagement proposal and marriage weren't taken when I hit the take picture button. *devastated*

In random news, Curtis stats are
9 neat (no shit)
2 shy
6 active
3 serious
5 nice

Shortly after his moving in, Gigi comes down with some flu like symptoms. As it turns out, she's pregnant and more hormonal than ever. It also comes to light that he is a neat freak of epic proportions. It may be OCD, it really is that obsessive. It's weird. Moving on.

That's it for part 1 of generation 1, Gigi's baby is on the way! Stay tuned for part 1.1. with way better pictures, and even more sarcasm, freaky cleaning, and hormones.